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                                                       Redneck Birth Control

A man and a woman from Alabama don’t want any more children because they already have 11. So the husband goes to a doctor in Ohio. The doctor asks, "What state are you from?

The man says "Alabama." The doctor tells him to go home, put a lit cherry bomb in an empty soda can, hold it in his hand, and count to 10. The husband isn’t so sure of this, so he goes to another doctor, this time in California.

When that doctor finds out that the husband is from Alabama, he tells him the exact same thing that the doctor in Ohio told him. The husband figures that the doctors must be right.

So he goes home, puts a lit cherry bomb in a soda can, and starts to count. ’’1...2...3...4...5...’’ The husband takes the soda can and puts it between his legs to continue counting on his fingers on his right hand. ’’6...7...8...9...’’


First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

How do most men define marriage?
An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still


The tough mice

Three city mice are sitting at a bar. One of them gulps down a shot of tequila, slams the glass on the table and declares, "I'm the toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I walk through the house collecting rat poison, return to my nest, and grind up the pellets with my morning coffee -- just for an extra jolt to start the day."

The second one follows, slams his whiskey, throws his glass on the floor and announces loudly, "I'm the toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I walk up to the trap, trip the lever and make the trap flip in the air. I catch the bar on its way down, bench press it a few times, twirl it over and over with my feet -- then I toss it to the floor. And of course take the cheese for breakfast. It's all a part of my morning routine."

The third one looks at the other two. Bored with the conversation, he sets down his glass of beer and says, "I've had enough of you two. I'm going home to screw the cat."

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